My girlfriend told me that she was describing “her boyfriend” to a few curious female co-workers the other day. She described me as “intelligent, educated, having a fondness for fine art, literature, antiques, history, science, opera, the theater and classic movies, being an excellent cook, a decent dresser and wearing cologne that she loves.”
“Oh” said one of the women, “He’s a straight gay guy!”…
A straight gay guy? This is such a typical response in an area where men go out on Saturday night wearing the “less greasy” NASCAR hat and the Jeans with the holes only in the knees. So I guess whenever they see a man who is clean and has all his teeth, he must be gay.
I believe the latest trendy term used in the civilized world is “metrosexual” but that’s a big word for most locals. I have to admit that I had to look up metrosexual myself just to be sure.
According to the Wiki:
Some define metrosexual as "a straight man in touch with his feminine side". Others define it with more specificity, such as "a straight man, who lives in an urban environment, who is into designer clothes, art museums, musicals, and other non-macho pursuits."
Wait! Since when did these things become “gay” or even linked to sexuality at all? I don’t really see anything particularly feminine about wanting to be clean, educated and cultured. Neither do I define designer clothes as being “gay”. Just go down to Broome & Mulberry streets in NYC and ask the first Armani wearing Italian-American man you see if he’s gay.
Now in case you’re wondering, I grew up like most boys. I played with dolls, he was called GI Joe. I played with toy trucks, green army men, rode a pedal fire truck and was in the hospital so often from my rough and tumble injuries that the doctors and nurses knew me by name.
But I also had parents and grandparents who were educated and instilled in us a desire for art and culture in many different areas.
Given the above definitions of a metrosexual, then what are we to assume “real” men are? Sloppy, ignorant, close minded and filthy? Must I run with the Bulls to prove my straighthood?
I am comfortable with my “manhood” and don’t feel the need to pound my chest like a Neanderthal as a proclamation of my sexual orientation. But I swear on Liberace’s grave that I’ll scratch your eyes out if you make fun of my man bag.
Comments