I’m at dinner the other night with my girlfriend at a nice, quiet, romantic, candle-lit Italian restaurant. Soft Italian folk music wafted through the air where it mingled with the delicate aromas of the delicious fare being offered. The atmosphere was absolutely perfect for a relaxing meal when suddenly it was interrupted from the table next to us.
BA-BLEEP! - “Hey Joe, where are you?”
BA-BLEEP! – “where eating at (restaurants name), just sat down”
BA-BLEEP! – “oh yeah? (loud static) unintelligible, have?
BA-BLEEP! – “What?”
BA-BLEEP! – (loud static) What (garbled) they have?”
BA-BLEEP! – “What do I have?”
BA-BLEEP! – “(unintelligible) on the menu?”
BA-BLEEP! – “ Oh, it’s Italian”
BA-BLEEP! – “Anything good? (loud static)”
BA-BLEEP! – “Let’s see, they have Lasagna, Pasta Pescatore, Fettuccini Alfredo…(more long descriptions follow)”.
BA-BLEEP! – “(more inane dribble interrupted by very loud static and periodic drop offs)
BA-BLEEP!
BA-BLEEP!
BA-BLEEP!
Ah yes, it was one of my favorite “look at me” items, the Nextel cell phone with the “Walkie-Talkie” feature. Now everyone can enjoy BOTH sides of your idiotic conversation.
This wasn’t the first time I have encountered this at a restaurant. Before it was during lunch time on a weekday so you figure that people are working, some are on call at a moments notice and need to be in touch with the office. This is acceptable, to me at least, and I understand it.
But this was different. Aside from the several tables with couples on a date, there were some larger groups and a few families with kids. Even the KIDS were quiet and well behaved which should be a big clue even for the terminally clue-less but NO! Big, loud-mouthed, blowhard Joe had to start reciting the entire menu to his static plagued, auditory challenged, interrupting, Nextel friend.
Was it just me? Am I the only one who has a sense of “manners” any more? Maybe I am just simply behind the times and these types of things are the new acceptable behaviors. Or maybe I am just simply “intolerant” which can be used as the new warm fuzzy word for “bigot” which is really a word meaning “you don’t agree with me and I am right so fuck you”.
I would hope that to most people it would be obvious that this just isn’t the kind of place to suffer your personal, loud, half unintelligible, half static conversation with the people around you. To me, it’s almost as bad as cutting a loud fart in an Opera House. I don’t want to hear flatulence during Carmen, and I don’t want to hear your Nextel during my Antipasto either!
As my eyes scanned the room I realized that I was not the only one annoyed by Joe’s recital. Couples mumbled softly to each other as they shot looks in Joe’s direction. The only ones who didn’t seem to notice were the parents but keeping those kids quiet was demanding their full attention, and I thank them for that.
With no end in site, and Joe only now just getting to the Entrée section of the menu, I could suffer this no more. I turned around and in my best tough, Philly-Italian style accent I said “Yo Joe, Tell him to join you already, We’re trying to eat over here!”
As Joe’s face began taking on the color of tomato bisque, a soft clapping arose from a few of the tables around us. He and his date/wife/girlfriend went outside to continue the conversation and never returned. Now if I could just get the same reaction on the beach!
Hehe. Thanx for stopping by Heather. I just don't get the whole "gotta have it" thing. The worst is on the beach IMHO. I go there to listen to the surf and relax but now it's just one sided conversations. Funny, but when it's mixed with the Seagull's yelps it sounds like there talking to the birds.
Posted by: Eeyore | March 01, 2007 at 08:53 AM
I'll admit to being a willful luddite when it comes to telephones, but sometimes it seems like the whole world has gone insane and is walking around in public talking to their imaginary friends! Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligebnt life here!
Posted by: Heather Bricklin | February 27, 2007 at 05:36 PM